Speechless
by purpleushi
Summary: Harvey finds out about Mike's sexual past with Trevor, and he's not too happy about it. Mike/Trevor, Harvey/Mike.


A/N: Ahhh my new favorite fandom. Seriously, could not be more in love with a TV show. And there are only four episodes so far. Well, hope you enjoy this.

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><p>Mike sank back into the couch rubbing his temples. He'd been poring over boxes and boxes of files for almost seven hours and was on his second box of pizza. Harvey had given him until the end of the week to come up with something, but he knew he had to finish tonight, not only to impress Harvey, but also just to prove he could.<p>

He _was_ smart enough to be a lawyer. He would actually legitimately _be_one by now if it weren't for Trevor—No. He was done passing the blame to someone else. It was his own goddamn fault for listening to Trevor in the first place, his own fault for not picking better friends.

Mike intended to keep his promise to Harvey. He was done with that life now. He was back on track, on his way to living the life he'd dreamed about since middle school, and nothing could stop him now.

He heard a knock on the door. It sounded urgent. Fuck, was Trevor here to rip him a new own for that whole deal with the pot-filled briefcase? He braced himself for impact as he opened the door.

It wasn't Trevor.

He stared at the disheveled mess on the doorstep for a moment, then he took a step back.

"Jenny," he said, cringing.

She looked up at him, her eyes red.

"Dammit, Mike, why didn't you tell me he was dealing again?"

"Again? He never stopped!" Mike spat, then reconsidered when he saw the pain on Jenny's face. "I should have told you," he said, softer, "But… I thought I was protecting you."

Jenny's eyes narrowed. "I'm a big girl now, Mike," she muttered. "I don't need protecting."

Mike pursed his lips, not knowing what to say. Then his expression softened.

"Look, Jenny, I have something good going on now, something great, and I can't jeopardize it, not or anyone," he put his hands on her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "You and Trevor will work this out, and things will end up okay. But I'm not going to be a part of it anymore."

She glared up at him but didn't shake him off. "So you're just abandoning me?" she asked bitterly.

"No, Jenny, I love you. I want you to have a happy life. You deserve it. And I wish I could be a part of it. But I'm never going to achieve my goals, to become someone I can be proud of, if I don't break from this completely."

"So this is goodbye?" Jenny's voice caught in her throat. Mike nodded, unable to speak any more. Jenny hesitated, and then leaned in to kiss Mike on the lips. His eyes widened in surprise and he backed away.

"I thought—" Jenny started, confused. "I thought you wanted—"

Mike cut her off. "No Jenny, I love you as a friend. I'm sorry I gave the impression—"

Jenny's face darkened. "Then consider it from Trevor," she sneered.

Mike blanched, and Jenny turned to storm out the door, never looking back.

Mike flopped back down onto the couch. "Shit," he groaned.

He couldn't focus on the files after that. It was after three in the morning and he'd only made it through about two thirds of the boxes. He knew that Harvey was expecting him to be done by morning, even if he hadn't said it.

But what Jenny said had really thrown him off balance. He hadn't even known that Jenny knew about his past with Trevor. He doubted that Trevor had told her, he had, after all, been extremely adamant that they never breathe a word of their relationship to anyone. Jenny must have figured it out on her own.

Mike chewed on the cap of the highlighter in his hand and attempted to refocus on his work. But his thoughts were racing. Did Trevor know that Jenny knew? That would really make him even more pissed off than he already was. And how much did Jenny even know? Maybe it wasn't as bad as Mike's paranoid brain was making it out to be. Maybe her comment was just a harmless barb. But she'd said it with such hatred…

This wasn't working. There was no way he'd finish this tonight, and he really did need to sleep. Harvey would yell at him if he zoned out during their big meeting with the client tomorrow. He sorted the files back into their boxes. Then he trudged to his bedroom, yanking off his shirt and pants and collapsing onto the bed.

His sleep was filled with fitful dreams, verging on nightmares. He dreamed about Harvey yelling at him for messing up the case, calling him worthless and telling him to get out of his sight. Then he dreamed about Trevor coming after him with a baseball bat, screaming about trust and betrayal and _friendship_. Then he had a flashback to that night in college, when he and Trevor, stoned out of their minds, decided it would be a good idea to have sex.

Mike woke up with a start as his alarm went off. He rubbed his eyes violently, trying to erase those images from his head.

That one time would have been easily excusable as an embarrassing weed-induced experiment. But then it happened again, and they had both been stunningly sober. Mike recalled vividly the feel of Trevor's mouth on his neck, his hands trailing down Mike's bare chest, slipping under his waistband. He could feel the heat of Trevor's rapid breaths, panting into his shoulder as he ground their hips together, Trevor pinning him down on the bed, crushing their lips together as he pulled Mike's legs up over his shoulders. He could hear himself screaming out Trevor's name, and feel the hand clamped over his mouth, silencing him so the guys in the next dorm room wouldn't hear.

And suddenly a thought came unbidden into his mind. What would Harvey think if he knew about this? Mike checked himself, why the hell had he just thought about Harvey in the same breath as Trevor? He certainly didn't _like_Harvey or anything so ridiculous as that. But it was too late, he'd already created the mental image. Yeah, that one. The one where it was Harvey's name he was screaming and not Trevor's.

His alarm clock beeped again, reminding him that he had about ten minutes to get ready for work or risk being late. He raced to the bathroom to take a shower. A very, very cold shower.

Harvey had just sat down at his desk and was about to take a sip of his coffee when Mike rushed into the office looking like he'd been run over by a bus. His hair was horrifyingly askew, and that god-awful skinny tie was as wrinkled as if he'd slept in it, not to mention the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes.

He stared at Mike with a bemused smirk. "Rough night?"

Mike shook his head and attempted to fix his hair, "You have no idea."

Harvey noticed that Mike was avoiding making eye contact with him, and that he had yet to announce that he'd made some brilliant discovery about the case while reading all twelve thousand pages of files the previous night. His brow furrowed as he put two and two together.

"You better not have done what I think you did," he said, his voice dripping with disapproval.

"What?" Mike panicked briefly thinking that somehow Harvey had found out about his interaction with Jenny.

"Are you high?"

Mike almost sighed with relief. Of course that had been what Harvey was referring to.

"No, no, most definitely not." Mike assured him, still not able to bring himself to actually look at Harvey.

"Well then why are you acting as twitchy as a goddamn rabbit?" Harvey demanded, a hint of amusement showing through.

"Just… stuff." Mike evaded, hoping Harvey would just let it go. But Harvey was in a prying mood.

"Well, since this 'stuff' appears to be affecting your ability to work, that makes it my concern, so I command you to tell me." Harvey waited a beat, then added, "And don't even think for a second that this means I care." But his small smile betrayed him, or would have if Mike had been looking.

"Erm, stuff," Mike tried again, "With Jenny. No big deal."

"With Jenny?" Harvey stood up pacing behind his desk. "What about with Trevor?"

Mike's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically, "No, not Trevor. Nothing happened with Trevor."

Curious. Harvey stared directly at Mike, one eyebrow raised, forcing Mike to meet his gaze. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much," he quipped. Mike laughed nervously, eyes darting back and forth like a caged mouse. Then, thank god, the door to the office opened and Donna entered.

"Mike, if Harvey hasn't kidnapped you, Louis needs to speak to you."

Mike let out a sigh of relief, unintentionally letting Harvey know that something really was up. It must be serious if Mike was actually happy to take a job for Louis.

As Mike closed the door of Harvey's office, Donna grabbed his arm.

"Louis doesn't really need you," she said, "You just looked like you were about to pass out in there."

Mike let out the breath he'd been holding and nodded. "Thank you, you're amazing," he gushed and headed off towards Louis' office, but ducking into the ladies room before he got there. He flopped himself down on the sofa and shut his eyes. Harvey was right, he was a twitchy mess.

It had been just over a year since Mike and Trevor had stopped sleeping together. That was the time when Trevor made it official with Jenny. He'd told Mike that that didn't change anything, they could still keep up their dysfunctional relationship, but Mike knew he could never do that to Jenny. She really was a good friend, and he would never hurt her like that.

Needless to say, Trevor didn't take too kindly to that. For the next few months he had repeatedly tried to get Mike to reconsider, coming on to him every time they were alone together, but Mike didn't budge. Finally Trevor had given up. Not long after that, Mike had walked in on him fucking some kid who barely looked eighteen.

If Jenny had anyone to be mad at, it was Trevor. But Mike wasn't a snitch.

Anyway, Trevor wasn't even his main problem anymore. Nope, that position now belonged to Harvey. Mike knew Harvey would be disgusted when he found out. And if he ever discovered that Mike might kind of sort of have the teensiest bit of a crush on him, God, Mike would be fired faster than you could say "college dropout".

Why couldn't his past just stay in the past? He'd moved on, why couldn't they?

Mike heard the door open but didn't look up. Rachel entered the bathroom and saw Mike sitting there looking distraught.

"This is the third time we've met like this. I'm starting to wonder if you come in here just to talk to me." She stood in front of him, hands on her hips.

Mike looked up at her with bleary eyes, "Maybe I do."

Rachel leaned back against the sink, crossing her fashionably clad feet.

"Okay, spill. What did Harvey do this time?"

Mike held his head in his hands. "He's going to find out."

"Find out what?"

"About me and Trevor and…" he waved his arms wildly as if that would help Rachel to have any idea whatsoever what he was talking about.

"You and Trevor and." She deadpanned.

"Exactly," Mike groaned.

Rachel stared at him, waiting for more explanation. Then comprehension dawned on her face.

"Oh my God, Mike! You like guys! This is great," she babbled. "I've always wanted a gay best friend to go shopping with!"

Mike shot her a look that could kill puppies.

"Okay, okay, not the shopping type," she put her hands up, grinning. "So, how does Harvey factor into all this?"

"He'll hate me if he finds out."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "You really think that?"

"Of course!" Mike ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Come on, Harvey Specter is possibly the straightest man on the planet. You think he's still going to want me to work for him if he thinks I'm hitting on him all the time? He may be secure, but no straight guy wants to have to think about ithat/i all the time."

Rachel sighed. Mike was really worked up about this, and she honestly didn't know Harvey well enough to give him any advice.

"I think you're overreacting," she began. "First of all, how would Harvey even find out anything unless you tell him? And second, I wouldn't be so quick to judge Harvey. He might be a douchebag, but he's not a total asshole."

"So if he snoops again, do you think I should tell him?"

Rachel hesitated, and then nodded. "I think you'll be surprised."

Mike looked at his reflection in the mirror, adjusting his tie and smoothing his suit. "Thanks," he said, and followed her out of the bathroom.

He opened the door and found himself face to face with Harvey.

"Oh, there you are," his boss said unperturbed, "I was wondering where you'd run off to. Louis keeping you busy?"

"Louis?" Mike queried, completely forgetting his excuse for bolting out of Harvey's office.

Harvey gave him that signature 'don't-even-think-about-trying-to-lie-to-me' look, and Mike caved.

"Yeah, Louis didn't actually want to see me," he admitted.

"I know."

Rachel inconspicuously removed herself, throwing Mike an encouraging smile over Harvey's shoulder as she walked back to her office.

"So, ah, meeting with the client soon?" Mike asked, suddenly nervous for no apparent reason.

"They postponed."

"Oh."

Mike and Harvey stood, awkwardly staring at each other. Well, it was awkward for Mike, but Harvey looked perfectly comfortable, as always. Mike looked down at his feet, his hands fidgeting.

"Can we talk?" he mumbled, not looking up at Harvey.

Harvey smirked a little. "We iare/i talking."

Mike glared at Harvey with a look that said 'really?'. Harvey couldn't contain a bemused grin.

"Okay, we'll talk." And he turned on his heel to go back to his office, leaving Mike to hurry along behind him.

The thirty second walk to the office was nearly enough time for Mike to change his mind, but he thought about what Rachel said. Maybe he was underestimating Harvey. After all, Harvey was full of surprises; hiring Mike off the cuff and lying to his entire firm about Mike's degree being just a few. Maybe Harvey iwould/i understand. And he might, dare Mike even think it, reciprocate? Mike shook the thought from his head. There was no way ithat/i was the case. He decided to leave that little detail out and just ease Harvey into the whole 'Mike sleeps with dudes' thing.

"Okay, what is it?" Harvey asked, shutting the office door after telling Donna to hold his calls. He circled around Mike to perch on the edge of his desk. Mike, once again, stood awkwardly in front of him.

"It's about Trevor," he began.

"Mike, I told you not have anything to do with him. He's a bad influence."

"I know, I know," Mike assured. He took a breath and then decided it was best just to blurt it out and get it over with. "I'm gay."

Three thoughts entered Harvey's head in rapid succession. First, what the hell did that have to do with Trevor? Second, oh, ithat's/i what it had to do with Trevor. And third, I'm going to fucking kill Trevor!

Harvey kept his emotions masked as he searched for something witty to say. Finding nothing, he settled for "Oh, okay, and what exactly brought this up?"

Mike chewed his lip. He really hadn't thought this out past the confession. "Uh," he stammered, "Jenny kissed me last night?"

Well, Mike was certainly the king of non sequiturs today. Harvey, being Harvey, was fortunately able to read between the lines and decipher what Mike was trying to tell him.

"You slept with Trevor, and Jenny found out," he assessed.

Mike nodded. "Well, it's a little more complicated than that, but yeah, basically."

There was a moment of silence, again more awkward for Mike then Harvey. Mike desperately tried to figure out what Harvey was thinking, but the man was like a goddamn statue as far as emotions went.

Meanwhile, in the head of the great all-powerful Harvey Specter, world war three was taking place. Between his murderous thoughts towards Trevor, his general shock at this interesting turn of events, and his confusion as to why he even cared in the first place, he had no idea what to say to Mike.

Mike grimaced. "Are you mad?"

Harvey cocked his head, "Mad?"

"At me. For not telling you. Or for telling you. I don't know. Are you?"

"No." Harvey said simply, not trusting himself to say more.

"Okay good, that's good, because I was really worried, and I didn't sleep last night or finish all the files because I was scared to death that you'd fire me and then—"

"Mike, shut up."

"Okay, but you're really not mad?" Suddenly Mike felt giddy. This was going better than he ever possibly could have imagined.

iNot at you,/i Harvey thought. Especially not when Mike was giving him that scared puppy look. It was all he could do not to say something to comfort Mike. But showing he cared would be making himself vulnerable, and he just couldn't have that. Instead he settled for prying more into Mike's confession.

"How long did this… thing… with Trevor last?"

Mike looked down sheepishly. He could feel himself reddening as he answered, "Four years?" He looked up just in time to see Harvey's face briefly flicker with an unrecognizable emotion.

"And it's over now?"

"Of course," Mike frowned, "Why?"

"No reason," Harvey brushed him off. If Harvey were anyone else at this moment, he would be practically dancing around the room. Mike was gay, unattached, and unbelievably attractive. But Harvey wasn't anyone else, he was Harvey goddamn Specter, and that is the last thing he would ever do.

At least not in front of Mike.

"You know, when I saw you and Rachel coming out of the bathroom, I assumed something entirely different was going on," Harvey mused.

Mike laughed nervously, and vaguely entertained the notion of Harvey thinking about him getting it on with Rachel. Little did he know that Harvey had had that notion himself, and found himself quite entertained by it. Mike cleared his throat.

"Well, I'm going to go, erm…" he trailed off, realizing that Harvey hadn't actually assigned him to do anything.

Harvey pushed himself off the desk and made the executive decision that "We are going to lunch."

Mike knitted his brow in mystification, and then shook his head, following Harvey out the door. They didn't speak a word in the elevator or the cab ride to some posh new restaurant that had just opened on 52nd St. Mike allowed Harvey to lead him inside, not that he had much of a choice. Finally after they were seated at a corner booth, Harvey spoke. Unbeknownst to Mike, he'd spent the last fifteen minutes debating what to say, and he had now a hazy outline of where he wanted this to go.

"As you know, I don't generally care about the personal lives of people other than myself."

"Okay, what does—"

Harvey held up his hand. "What did I say about interrupting?" Mike shrank back obediently. "Good boy," Harvey murmured with a smirk. Mike felt his cheeks heating up and hastily took a sip of water while Harvey continued. "As I was saying, it is completely unprecedented for me to care about an associate. But it is also unprecedented that I have an associate like you."

Mike wondered where the heck this was headed.

"You intrigue me Mr. Ross."

Mike didn't know what to say.

Harvey paused. "What I'm trying to say is—"

Mike cut him off, unable to hold it in any longer, although not even realizing that he'd been holding it in.

"Harvey, I like you."

For the first time in his life, the great Harvey Specter was completely dumbfounded.

Mike instantly regretted his declaration and tried to backpedal. "Sorry, heat of the moment, forget I said anything, seriously Harvey let's just move on—"

"You're cute when you babble."

Mike gaped.

"What?" he managed to gasp out. "I mean—do you—is this—what?"

Harvey finally allowed himself a genuine smile. "I'll give you a second to gather your wits, and then we can discuss this like the intelligent human beings we are."

Mike stared at Harvey without blinking for a full minute.

Finally Harvey asked, "What are you doing?"

"Taking a mental picture of the first time I have ever seen Harvey Specter smile," Mike explained. "And now—" he slid around the booth so he was right next to Harvey, "I am going to kiss you."

And he did.

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><p>-epilogue-<p>

Mike woke up feeling like he was floating on a cloud. In reality it was Harvey's ten thousand dollar mattress. He nuzzled closer to the warmth next to him, draping his arm across Harvey's bare waist and resting his cheek on his perfectly toned chest. Still asleep, Harvey adjusted his body around Mike's, pulling him in closer.

Mike inhaled contentedly. Harvey smelled like ridiculously expensive aftershave, with an underlying hint of fruity shampoo, and sex.

Their clothes were still on the floor from where they had left them the previous night. Harvey's imported Italian suit lay in a crumpled heap, evidence of how much things had changed in the two weeks since they'd gone for lunch.

Mike let his hand wander down Harvey's back and under the covers to trail over his hips. He continued until it came to rest on Harvey' cock. Then he gently began stroking, and was rewarded as the organ began hardening in response to his touch. Harvey's eyes fluttered open and he gradually became aware of what Mike was doing.

" 'Morning," Mike murmured.

Harvey buried his face in Mike's hair and gripped the younger man's shoulders. Mike stroked faster and could feel Harvey's perfectly manicured nails digging into his back. Harvey moaned into Mike's hair as he approached his climax. And then he was gasping and hissing out Mike's name as he came into Mike's hand.

"Good morning to you too," Harvey articulated, now fully awake.


End file.
